Fear or Love
Fear is widely understood as the feeling of discomfort when our surroundings do not seem safe: A dark alley way, a threatening crowd, the presence of violence. But fear hides in sneaky spaces too, in our relationships with ourselves and with others, in our work environments and in our homes. Fear is everywhere. It manifests in many ways through our minds and our bodies. It robs us of our peace and it robs us of our joy.
We must recognize that it is always a choice, fear or love. In any situation, you’re either living in fear, or living in love. You’re creating through fear, or creating through love. You’re responding with fear, or responding with love.
Fear is inadequacy, hatred, anger, dishonesty, jealousy. uncertainty
Love is acceptance, understanding, forgiveness, truth, admiration, trust
Throughout this past year I was forced to face the presence of fear in my life – and forced to recognize that though I am a human full of love, the desire to be loved and the desire to share love – I allowed fear to rule several areas of my life, until they were all but completely broken.
Admitting this truth was hard for me. I am so good intentioned, I work so hard, I invest my time into caring for others – how could I end up here? To me, admitting I had chosen a fearful path was admitting failure.
Eventually, I had no choice but to sit in my failure and face it. To view myself and my life through a different lens. The longer that I sat with it, the more clearly I could see that this was not about failure or success. This was about fear or love. The choice now, was to continue to live in fear and operate without change, moving forward in strength, allowing the broken mess to stay behind me – or, to choose to live in love. To recognize the fear based decisions that added to bring me to the point of self perceived failure and to begin to replace those choices with action rooted in love. To repair, restore and rebuild what felt so broken.
I chose love. At first this path was extremely humbling. It felt like every day I was baring my most vulnerable self to the world….but soon that humbling reality became empowering. Each day as I stepped out of fear and into love I was reminded of my power, I was reminded of who I was when this journey began. Through love, I found myself.
Looking back, I can see, that had I chosen to continue on the fear based path, I would have continued to see success. What I would have lost was myself. Fear and love do not determine success or failure…they determine harmony or dis-ease. What I found most unexpected about the choice between fear and love, was that love isn’t always the easy choice.
In the moments that were most challenging and soul crushing, I turned to meditation and movement. I chose over and over again to face myself. To face the humbled, shattered mess with love, with understanding, with trust. Through meditation and movement I found I was able to stay in the discomfort, until that discomfort delivered to me the truth that I needed to see in order to create change.
Fear and Love cannot exist simultaneously.
Perhaps you too, are recognizing the presence of fear in your life. You maybe finding the presence of fear in your closest relationships, in your broken relationships, in your career, in your financial security, in your relationship with your body, in your desire to be loved, in your lonliness, in your motherhood, or your dream of motherhood. By recognizing its presence, you’re finding now, that fear is not only ruling your present day, fear is tying you to your past and fear is influencing your hopes and dreams.
Fear wants you to believe that you are alone. Fear wants you to believe that it is stronger than love. Fear is a liar.
You are not ever alone. You are always in the presence of love. You simply, must choose, and choose again to lead with love. Having the support of so many surrounding you is powerful…even more powerful is the choice to choose love when it can only come from within you.
Know that fear does not want to be detected. Like any disease, fear wants to continue to silently dictate the course of your life. Recognition of its presence gives you power. I challenge you to choose love over fear. To commit to the spaces where fear is living and replace that fear with love.
It is not the easy choice. It is not a choice you make once. It is a choice you make again, and again, and again.
Live your life in love.